For explanations of NPL-style puzzles and their solutions, you may refer to the online Guide to the Enigma.
Puzzles numbered 152 through 285 were submitted to the editor of The Enigma but were not published during the period of my NPL membership. Puzzles numbered 286 and higher were composed after my departure from NPL and were never submitted for publication.
Note to NPL Krewe: I will not be responsible for withholding solutions to any of my puzzles that may be published in Enigma after April 2005.
152. OVERLOADED PHONETIC FALSE RECIPIENT (6, *6) (*6 = part of 11C phrase)
Jake, a junior in yeshiva,
Was obliged one day to leave a
Math class early on some urgent
Business. Thought he'd learn convergent
Sequences himself. . . . He turned his
Homework in, quite sure he'd earned his
Customary "Aleph-Plus." Tut.
Soon he learned that he had mussed it.
Reb (a Master of Divinity)
Said, "This goes off to infinity!
Look: your differences keep growing.
That's not right. That's just not KNOWING!"
153. REVERSED MULTIPLE REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (2 4 4 4 10, 3) (not MW)
There's a saying: "BEST BEES STUNG." It's true.
Doc said, "Vigorous workouts for you!"
I jumped rope. I did crunches
And curls. I ran bunches
Of laps . . . fell and fractured my GNU.
154. BEHEADMENT (*6) (not MW) (FOUR = *)
The critic G. B. FOUR displayed no qualms
Dismissing with a "FIVE!" the works of Brahms.
But if he heard Miss SIX's voice today,
He might just find a kindly word to say.
155. REVERSED PHONETIC FALSE ADJECTIVE (3, *6) (WEE, BIG)
PHONETIC REVERSAL (5, *7) (Z = *7 = not MW usage)
To show that they were loyal
To their own native soil,
Some heads of state (like presidents)
Bought goods by local residents.
The Bushes bought a Buick;
Koizumi purchased two Ac-
cords. And BIG's the EASE
Of trois ZsGaulish WEEs.
156. ENIGMATIC REBUS (6 7)
A new show premiered on TV.
It's all about numbers! 1, e,
And, lastly, the square root of 2
Were featured on last week's debut.
But what about 3.14...?
Don't worry: they didn't ignore
It. They wrote it a poem (below),
"To a Constant." But that's a whole SHOW.
157. ENIGMATIC REBUS (*7)
HOMONYM (4, 5) (BAWL, BALL)
Oklahomm's two leads married.
Hope they didn't practice SOL.
If they bore a son, the prairie'd
BAWL as folks searched for a BALL.
158. TRANSADE (10, 5, 5)
In some northern towns, there's no place one can order
Those savory dishes from south of the border.
So, restaurateurs: try this great market FORE
Serve some ALL, guacamole AFT, flautas, and more!
159. PHONETIC SECOND-TO-THIRD CHANGEOVER (10, 11) (TEAM = NI3)
Trump's tallest towering TREE was planned.
A crew commenced to excavate.
A flint was found. Thus a demand
Was made: the TREE would have to wait.
A TEAM (a flint with one edge curved),
A tiny tool, had halted big
Construction. Science, though, was served
When research trumped Trump's tower. Dig?
160. REVERSED PHONETIC CONSONANTCY (*8, 7) (FORCE, SURF)
REVERSED PHONETIC CONSONANTCY (*10, *6-*5) (DAFFY, FOOD)
The myths of Greece are known throughout the world:
How FORCE contrived to hear the Sirens' cry,
Protecting ship and crew from being hurled
To SURF among the jagged rocks nearby.
And yes, the tale of DAFFY, FORCE's son,
Who with great FORCE his mother's suitors slew. . . .
Translations in all tongues exist. There's one
In Inuit (a FOOD-group language), too.
161. THIRD-SOUND CHANGE (2 3 3, 3-2-4) (GITTIN, GIVEN)
Isn't he dreamy? Isn't he GITTIN?
It's like I've been struck with a GIVEN! I'm smitten!
162. HETERONYM (5. *4, 1 8)
In the days of Julius Caesar,
A young statesman has a meal.
"Maybe some Romano cheese, or. . .
Fruit instead." He starts to peel
A red Rome beauty, then elects
To nix that malic pome. A
Mold of pomodoro becks!
He tastes his jellied Roma
Tomato ONE the Younger thinks,
"Rome's days are in full flower!
But ahthe riddle of the Sphinx
How long shall Rome taste power? . . ."
Just CIX years following
That quaestor's sad demise,
A Rome corrupt and wallowing
In scandal and in lies
Goes up in flames. Orations
Say Nero is to blame.
"He minds his bow's saltations
To play TWO lick," they claim.
163. OVERLOADED TRANSPOSAL (8)
I struggled hard to my first flat complete
In March. Each puzzle, every sol, was NEAT.
164. SIXTH-TO-SEVENTH CHANGEOVER (^3 ^4 ^4, 3 ^4 ^4) (neither MW)
PARTIALLY REVERSED THREE-WORD DELETION (8 7, 5, 3, 3, *4) (TUO = not MW usage)
BLONDIE did extremely well:
It grossed so much in '94,
The record for all TOTALs fell.
(Just Finding Nemo since made more.)
It ONE good art with one great story,
Won an Oscar for one song;
Thrilling, THREEand yet, not gory. . . .
Disney didn't do much wrong!
Its title even spawned a pun:
Al Hirschfeld, BLONDES, a film that showed
TUO's pop, nonagenarian,
His TWO still tootling down the road.
165. REVERSED SECOND-LETTER CHANGE (5'2, *7) (FOUR = NI3 confirms usage)
ROOF been fiddlers by the score.
Jascha Heifetz reached the FOUR.
166. OVERLOADED PHONETIC DELETION (3 6, *1*2)
With windows down, the convoy nears the coast,
THE ANSWER in the faces of the host.
167. SOUND SHIFT (3'1-4, 8) (CASHIN', ACTION)
Want to drive your kitty to distraction?
A CASHIN' tip: just toss your pet some ACTION.
168. WORD DELETION (8, 4, 3'1)
IN! Watch Tyson's right hand whup
His foe, who's ALL and OUT get up.
169. OVERLOADED REVERSED BEHEADMENT (5) (NI3) (shorter part = phrase usage) (can be sung)
I'm just nuts about BOTH nuts;
BOTH nuts are nuts that suit me:
Those basil pesto
Nuts are best! Oh,
They fill me with ecstasy.
But nothing beats mamoncillos:
I just like Sapindaceae!
Oh, I'm just nuts about BOTH nuts:
BOTH nuts are nuts that suit,
Call them nuts or fruit,
BOTH nuts truly suit me.
170. HOMONYM ([2 1 4], [5 4]) (MADE, MAID)
My high school kid's really MADE with his studies:
He's more obsessed with the MAID than his buddies.
171. HOMONYM (5, *8) (BRAE = 5 = phrase usage) (can be sung)
While strolling through the park one day,
Picking shamrocks near a Leinster way,
I was nipped on the caboose
By a setter on the loose.
So I yelled, "Don't you have BRAE laws here in BRAY?"
172. OVERLOADED PHONETIC DELETION (3 4, 4)
Red Riding Hood gathered it wasn't her granny:
"Well, I do declare! That was really a TRANNIE!"
173. OVERLOADED WORD DELETION (*7, *1*1*1, *4) (*1*1*1 = abbr.)
The man from Reynosa told loved ones, "We'll all go
To Texas. Just over the bridge is Hidalgo,
And then is McAllen. Then east, on past Pharr,
Is a town where a few of our relatives are."
A job offer came to him after they'd been in
South Texas a while. So they moved to McLennan,
A county that lies on the Brazos. Meantime,
To learn to speak well, they took courses in MIME.
174. LAST-SOUND CHANGE (*3 *5, *1*1)
If Southwest Haiti sounds like fun,
Frolic in THREE FIVE, ONEONE?
175. PHONETIC TWO-WORD DELETION (6 6, 4, 3, 6) (some NI3 addenda, part of 11C phrase)
A creatine-, steroid-, testosterone-laden
Young man may go far to impress his fair maiden.
His OUTSIDE desires might impel him to go
On ESPN's "World's Strongest Man" show,
Where he'll don wrist supports and then blithely proceed
To ONE a jet plane weighing TWOssuch a deed
Of Herculean strength! (Such a feat, though, please note, 'll
Most likely cause "Atlas" a pain in the TOTAL.)
176. MYNORETEH ([2-5], 4 3)
When folks grow old they oft think back on things they knew in youth:
A pet ("Wow, Mom! A real FOUR THREE!"), a quarter for a tooth,
A favorite doll, a catcher's mitt, a baseball or toy train,
Or just a little TWO-FIVE (in the case of Mr. Kane).
177. ENIGMATIC REBUS (7 2 6)
Boston platform glider
Paleozoic Mesozoic Cenozoic
Music lovers run the gamut,
But the subgroups seldom mix.
I'll support that claim: I am at
Carmen. Goths and groupie chicks
Won't be found within this venue.
Folks hush when the music starts.
Suits and ties are on the men. You
Don't see stud-pierced body parts.
This lends credence to my thesis:
You won't find too many PIECES.
178. OVERLOADED WORD DELETION (*3 *5, 2, 6) (not MW)
A movie director taught courses at night.
A girl asked, "I don't mean to be impolite. . . .
To get what I want, is there some 'magic word'?"
Upon meditating, he smiled and said: "SNERD."
179. HOMONYM (*7, 4 1 3) (KAW, CAW)
Miss Piggy, spurned by Kermit, all depressed,
Took matters in her own hooves. She got dressed
And (in a rasher moment) hopped a plane
To Willemstad. Yes, KAW can sure CAW's pain.
180. LETTER BANK (5, *8)
Violinists who think they're hot stuff
Waste way too much effort COUGH CHOUGH.
181. MULTIPLE REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (^4 4 3 ^4, *3) (not MW)
The heroine will never want for food
Again, as BAM's her witness, in BAD MOOD.
182. RIDDLE (not MW) (can be sung)
Seventy-six electrons that zip, arrayed
Round a hundred and ten core neutrons. A hand-
y arrangement of plus-charged protons,
With scintillating photons
That gleam across the EM band.
I'm just one isotope of my element:
1.58% of weight by assay.
My arrangement of bits is able
To keep my atom stable
I never undergo decay.
There are iron and ruthenium within my group,
Over me. Under me's Element 108
("Hassium," they're calling it. It's really new. P-
rops to you, pal: you are up-to-date!).
There are tantalum and tungsten in my period,
Followed by rhenium, then you get to me.
Then's my bud iridium;
All others, we two pity 'em:
We're tops in specific gravity!
183. ENIGMATIC REBUS (11)
The rubric's there.
It's quite self-CARE.
184. OVERLOADED REVERSED FIRST-LETTER CHANGE (4)
Cats can EAT
With their feet.
185. HOMONYM (3 3, 7) (TOE KNEES, TONYS)
The girl wouldn't bother with lowlifes or phonies:
The TOE KNEES would date always had to be TONYS.
186. PHRASE SHIFT (*3 3 "6") (*3 = not MW)
Since I like learning facts about laddies and lasses,
I'm majoring in anthropology.
I'll share this from one of my favorite classes,
Icelandic Suburban Mythology. . . .
The Somervillean Maiden, and How She Got Her Nom
There was a time when folks had names, like "Mary," "Dick," or "Tom."
It may seem strange to us today, but noms were then unknown!
The gods decreed: "That ain't so good." So in their halls of stone,
They had a business meeting. They hammered out a plan:
A list of sundry items would be given to each man
And woman. He/she'd put a mark by his/her favorite one.
The gods would then collect the lists. As soon as this was done,
The chosen item's nameor symbolthen would be attached
Upon the end of his/her name to make a nom that matched.
Some people chose a bird or fish, while others picked a tree.
Still others marked a loved one's name, a river, lake, or sea.
But one lass, who liked chemistry, thought, "Ah! This choice looks nice!
I'm positive it's right for me!" And so THE PHRASE SHIFTtwice!
187. PHONETIC CONSONANTCY (*5, *1. *6) (neither MW; CREW = *1. *6 = part of a phrase)
(with a nod to August 51)
The wealthy Coloradans like to save some money, too.
That's why folks in KOREA all go shopping at J. CREW.
188. MULTIPLE REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (4 2 *4, 2 2 3 *6 2; 3) (not MW)
A SHORT once said, "LONG."
I think he was wrong.
I toured that great city,
And it is a pity
I took that advice.
I sure paid a price!
My effort was valiant to
Pass for Italian. . . to
I really did fail.
My act was so bad,
It made them all mad.
Although I had set out
To blend, they said, "Get out!
Get out of here now!"
(Not even one "ciao.")
189. HOMONYM (9 5 2; 2 [*6, *5])
(with a nod to July 6)
Trazom reported (July number 6): Fairies shook
Leno's crew. (Many millions of viewers tuned in for a look.)
But ONE all those subjects of Oberon really could do.
(The Cowboys all watched the big screen in their locker room TWO.)
190. SPOONERGRAM (5 8, 3 "3" 6) (2nd 3 = not MW)
The cattle of Orwell are chewing the fat (and their cuds),
And they're pretty sore. "Well, it's evident that porcine blood's
Filled with lust for dominion. ONE; absolute ONE absolute-
ly." A TWO. "Glad you brought that up. Yes, ma'am, the problem's acute."
191. SPOONERGRAM ([*6 8], *7 7)
Do you fear that crooks could harm you, as TWOed Georgia in his time
(Civil War)? A ONE could help you take a big bite out of crime.
192. HETERONYM (7, 4 3) (ONE = +; 3 = not exactly MW usage)
I went to see that Tolkien flick last year.
A crummy orc must have been sitting near!
(Who else would TWOs and cheer for Sauron's men?)
I said he'd better shut ONE up right then!
193. MYNOMOH ([4 4], 3 5) (STELL, LET'S)
PHONETIC DELETION (4, ^4) (HI-C, HIGH E)
HEAD-TO-TAIL SHIFT (^4) (CHI, HI-C)
(both HI-Cs are the same)
The gendarmes weren't expecting quite the scene
That happened on that night back in '13.
Who knew, when first they heard that lone bassoon,
What discord could develop from one tune?
The patrons scratched their heads as though confused.
They thought: "This chap Stravinsky has abused
The art of music!" They began to jeer
And hiss. "We've got a situation here,"
A policeman said. "The crowd's about to blow.
They're like a ticking STELL. This LET'S just go
Ballistic any minute." He was right:
HIGH E of Spring would start HI-Cs that night.
A theatre manager would sadly sigh:
"Henceforth, nice musicsay, the 'Archduke' CHI."
194. CHOP 'N' SWAP (5) (TWO = not MW)
A pair of girlfriends spied each other in a swank cafe;
Each one was with a date. . . . They'd have a thing or two to say
Thereafter. First, one shared her frank opinions in a note.
Her friend replied, "My dear: It is so lovely that you wrote. . . .
I've poured myself a steaming cup of TWO with milk. . . . I might
Point out your pen slipped, dear. I know that what you meant to write
Was: 'That was quite a low-cut blouse, and skimpy skirt, you wore!'
And that that extra 'ONE' was just a slip and nothing more."
195. PHONETIC CONSONANTCY (8, *5 *5) (FENNECS, PHOENIX)
An East South Dakotan feared Tenthredinoidea.
Plagues being something he'd rather avoid, he a-
pplied huge amounts of an insecticide.
It succeeded: the FENNECS in PHOENIX all died.
196. PALINDROME (3 3)
HOMONYM (5-3, 5) (REED, REDE)
North African and Southwest Asian music makers gave
A concert. Groups of lutelike instruments performed to rave
Reviews. The chamber music started small: they did a DEED,
Increasing exponentially to end with a REED REDE.
197. TERMINAL DELETION (*7) (shorter part = *)
TRANSPOSAL (4, *4) (TACOS, COAST)
CHOP 'N' SWAP (5) (shorter part = *)
If a dama in SAMOA sends some TACOS off to COAST, it
Goes southwest from PARIS SPAR, but it remains within that nation.
If it goes northwest to AMO, though that's closer, fees to post it
Rise by several sols to cover nondomestic transportation.
198. SPOONERGRAM (^6 ^5, 6 4) (ONE = 11C-findable)
The men and women of the ONE could note with satisfaction
That they were first of all the troops to reach the site of action.
An army soldier wondered why his squad arrived so late.
One ONE grunt answered, "Heyyou gotta TWO and poke less, mate."
199. SPOONERGRAM ([*5 *6]'1; 4, [5-5]) (5-5 = NI3 confirms usage)
Gridiron fans in South Bend, Indiana, bite their nails:
There's just one minute on the clock, andgasp!the home team trails!
Some stand and cheer; some TWO and jittery, still in their seats.
They'd love to know what ONE have done to rouse his men in cleats.
200. MYNORETEH (4, 8 *1 4; 3, *4 4 6)
In a lovely Tuscan commune lying on the River Arno,
Leonardo keeps some ratite birdsor tries. . . . He's had, so far, no
Great success with feeding those poor things. He's had some strange ideas.
One time, he said, "I just can't figure what the problem is.
I peel some lovely mandarins, but to my ONE just don't
Appeal!" Now pretty soon, he'll realize his charges won't
Survive on what he's feeding them. He'll have to let them go.
They can't escape to freedom, soaring far like eagles, though:
They're flightless! The community will have to tend them, then:
In this modern, liberal TWO the role of foster mother hen.
201. REVERSED THIRD-TO-FOURTH CHANGEOVER (*7, 7) (ONE = not MW)
Now Frodo, I don't trust that slimy thing.
I don't care if he swore oaths upon the Ring.
ONE's tried to get us trapped in lots of TWO.
I'd wring that stinker's neck if I was you.
202. FREEWHEELING LETTER BANK (*2. *7, *17) (*2 = abbr., *17 = not MW)
It's the absolute truth: I'm a lover and fan
Of the Middle-Earth legends by SHORT. And none can
Match the music of Mahler. His heartrending LONG
Are five verses of woe, set superbly in song.
203. THIRD-LETTER CHANGE (9) (BLUE = NI3)
Italians have a dish called "straw and hay,"
A colorful description of the way
The ribbons of BLEE pasta are of two
Contrasting hues: some hay-like, others BLUE.
204. REPEATED-TRIGRAM DELETION (6 5, 5)
Eden was an ELF
In a TV ASH A SHELF.
205. REBUS (11) (NI3)
The word means "emphatic." You should reinforce
That E-flat with the "SOL" underneath it. But you
Made a beastly sound! That was too heavy, of course
More suggestive of apes in a cage at the rrr!
206. MYNORETEH (4 4, [2 6]) (DEER = 2 6 = +)
"This meeting of the Seabirds is hereby called to order.
Attendance shall be taken by the (aptly-dubbed) Recorder
Of Attendance." "Curlew? Albatross? Gull? Pelican? All here.
Eagle? . . . Eagle? . . ." "On her way." "Bah! REEDs! They're always DEER!"
207. WORD DELETION (5 5, 5, 5)
Verdi penned himself a note:
"Discuss a choral fill," he wrote. . . .
(Few know Giuseppe was an INNER:
Two or three joints after dinner,
Then he'd sit down at the keys,
High when writing those high Cs.)
So. . . he found that note. "Far out!
Cool! I'll write a PIE about
Discs of chlorophyll!" (You need
To understand that all that weed
That he had smoked impaired his brain:
Thinking straight was too much strain.)
And that is how it came to pass
That he wrote ^OUTER, under grass.
(Verdi really did write PIE;
The rest is just a big, fat lie.
You don't see ^OUTER's dates on your
Met schedule? Check "Icelandic tour.")
208. REVERSED PHRASE SHIFT (5 4 1 3)
In briefPHRASE: Policeman trails in race;
Haifan's circuit lead sets pace.
209. OVERLOADED HETERONYM (7, 3 2 2)
The bugle played its call,
But no one made a charge.
Sarge said, "I guess you all
Just didn't hear the SARGE."
210. METATHESIS (4)
I hope that you can solve this flat.
Be BART, though, lest your sol goes BRAT.
211. MYNOMOH (3 3, *1 4) (RAPPER, REPAIR)
Having listened to those RAPPERs Click and Clack,
REPAIR my auto's workings, front to back.
212. REVERSED PHONETIC DELETION (7, *2 *4)
Some dirty stinkers hacked Alcoa's webpage on the Net.
In place of mission statements, profit forecasts to be met,
And data on the output of the ICE CREAM mines they owned
Were filthy pornographic pics! The webmaster atoned
To website visitors by posting words of deep regret,
But privately could not help noting records had been set
For traffic to the site. Not setdemolished. Smashed to bits.
"Sex sells," she shrugged. "MERE SCI could never get that many hits!"
213. FALSE COMPARATIVE (*1-4, 7)
Poor, poor supermodel.
She can't work with her hands.
She might just raise a little MOANS.
Then she'd be on the ANS.
214. REDRO TAKEOUT (8 4, 4) (not MW)
At first I peddled toothpicks,
'Cause Daddy said, "Start small."
I now can say I've made it
To the big leagues: I SHORT TALL.
215. PHONETIC FIRST-TO-THIRD CHANGEOVER (*5, 5) (*5 = not MW)
WELDED CURTAILMENT (4) (SENSE)
Hybrid cars; homes powered all by renewable
Energy sources: they're SENSEless and doable.
We've bought some items to help towards prevailment:
A sola1024 array and a SWEATED CURTAILMENT.
216. REVERSED PHONETIC CONSONANTCY (6, 8) (ZURICH, A CRAZE)
REVERSED PHONETIC CONSONANTCY (6, 8) (ZURICH, A CRAZE)
(6s are the same; 8s are different)
ZURICH, sweet Mellivora: such furry little guys.
Those claws and sharp teeth grip my heart; those beady little eyes
Transport my soul to rapture: I raise my voice in praise!
(Perhaps I've gone a bit too far: this borders on A CRAZE.)
217. ENIGMATIC REBUS (4)
On my mountain TOP,
I traverse the rocky path,
Wander far and y.
218. LETTER BANK (8, *4 *2 *6) (TOOTH = not MW)
I just went online and bought a
Lovely matching scarf and sweater
From TOOTH's HOT line. Now I'd better
Tell the whole amazing story:
TOOTH, that exquisite Maori
Diva, dabbles in the fashion
World (though opera is her passion).
Need a sweater, scarf, or booties?
TOOTH's HOT items all are beauties.
Whether you are large or peewee,
Sport TOOTH HOT and be a Kiwi!
219. PHONETIC TERMINAL DELETION (9, 4)
I had to do some plowing chores, but, thanks to BSE,
My SHORT were unavailable. Now, ordinarily,
The use of canines for that job would seem absurd, it's true
But, with a team of fifty long, long LONGswell, I made do.
220. PHONETIC FALSE PROMOTION (8, ^7 *3) (ONE = NI3, 11C-inferable; TWO = 11C-inferable)
TWO, chief of Confederate forces,
Plugs cornmeal he likes and endorses:
"Fine texture. Not clumpy
Or all ONE and lumpy
Like Grant's Mealwe feed that to horses."
221. OVERLOADED REVERSED PHONETIC CONSONANTCY (*7, 4 3 3) (*7 = not MW)
The stadium in Athens is packed solid every fall
With GRECIANs, there to watch some other GRECIANs play some ball.
222. LETTER BANK (*6, 7, 8, 10, *3 *7, 11, 11)
Great Moments in America (these are Amalgam's picks)
From 1492 Until the Year 2006.
In fourteen hundred ninety-two,
Columbus sailed the ocean blue,
Well, I don't think that that's quite true.
What Christopher and all his crew
Did tragically and sadly do:
Enslave the BANK of the Bahamas
Gentle folk. . . . What else is new?
The next event historical?
The question is rhetorical,
Not one you might hear from the Sphinx
Or pose to Delphi's Oracle. . . .
It's CambridgeCon, '04: It's tense,
Uncertain, yes, Uncertain, whence
The secretary hails. . . the vote
ONE FOUR the site for two years hence.
And FOUR will welcome all you Krewe.
The THREE crews sweep the streets for you.
There's music: you might hear the SIX
Of chants, a brief four-movement TWO, . . .
And restaurants! From the humblest dive
To four-star swank. Come! Now that I've
Informed you, you don't need thick books
With bibliographies and FIVE.
223. WELDED LAST-TO-SECOND CHANGEOVER (6) (can be sung)
"BAWBRA"crypts containing "BAWBRA"
Are the easiest puzzles in the world.
When solvers, needing other letters,
See a pattern they understand,
Triumph is close at hand;
They act more like Brutus
Constructors can be sadistic BAWBRA.
They're the craftiest BAWBRA in the world.
They'll throw curveballs, with "tantra," "thatch," or "osmols."
They'll gloat at their cruel design
That uses words like "indign."
Solvers carp, fume, and whine,
So please: write a crypt that uses "BAWBRA."
Crypts containing "BAWBRA"
Are the easiest puzzles in the world.
224. SUBER (4 5)
When you come to the con here in Texas,
Go to restaurants and learn what ex-Mex is.
But don't walk if it's far
Call a cab; rent a car:
Let a MEN you, or drive a nice Lexus.
225. PARTIALLY REVERSED PHONETIC WORD DELETION (*11, 4, *7) (NI = NI3, a form is 11C)
A man from Mississippi bought a westbound ticket home
From a clerk who had a minor NI disorder.
The driver let him off in ALL. His mouth began to foam:
"Hey! This ain't OUT! We've crossed the Texas border!"
226. MYNOMOH (5, 4 4) (ELEVEN, NOVELLA)
A production-line tester in Hershey PA
Got up on the scale, then muttered, "Oy veh.
Two hundred ELEVEN is how much I weigh!
And why not? I'm a schlump who NOVELLAs all day."
227. HETERONYM (7, 2 5)
PARTIALLY REVERSED WORD DELETION (7, 4, 3) (7s are the same)
The lady of the manor could TOT AL when quite amused.
But when the ENO snored too loud, she steadfastly refused
To see the humor in it. "You're at seven TWOs tonight.
Here's a TOTAL. To the cowshed!" He slunk out without a fight.
228. LAST-LETTER CHANGE (7, *7) (BEER, BEEF)
FINAL-WORD SUBSTITUTION (*6, *1*1, 3, 7)
I hang out at the pub when I'm finished with class.
The subject I'm cramming while nursing my glass
Is "East European Composers and Lit
Of the Twentieth Century." Daily I sit
In a corner with headphones on, sipping a BEER
(I'm a die-hard James Bond fan, KEN?). Dang! I can't hear
Any difference at all between CHICKEN and BEEF.
I'm not doing well in the subject. In brief,
I'm flunking! My dreams of a college degree
Will come to a LET, ignominiously. . . .
So who needs a sheepskin? I'll muddle through. Hey
I can always come back here and CHICLET someday.
229. CHARADE (6, 3, 3) (all parts = + usage)
OVERLOADED PHONETIC CURTAILMENT (4, 3)
You want to pinch pieces? Hey, pal: that's your call.
But if you have any gray matter at all,
You'll steer clear of police and crime-syndicate heads.
Yeah, only a BUMPKIN would BUMP KINs from FEDs.
230. CONSONANTCY (6, *4 *7) (SIT IN, STEIN)
I'm such a fine flattist, with verse so divine,
They're sure to ask me to meet, SIT IN, and dine
At poets' receptions with people like STEIN.
231. WORD DELETION (8, 3, 5)
At 13, my ALL's way into soccer.
Though she has a big crush on some rocker,
Re the boys her age, she says, "INSIDE!"
Wait three years or so: she'll be a HIDE.
232. PHONETIC WORD DELETION (6 3, 3, 7)
I signed up with a stockbroker who
(So I thought at the time) had great TWO
Into trends of the ONEwho just knew
All the markets ALL. Now I regret
It. My life's turned all ALL. I'm in debt,
And my stockbroker drives a Corvette.
233. QUADRUPLY OVERLOADED TRANSDELETION (7) (one part = *; includes one curtailment)
An author?! Dear daughter, you can't be sincere!
A man of base morals with nothing, I fear,
But erotic pursuit on his mind. It's absurd
That you'd think I would let you go out with that WORD.
And just what does he mean: "You can't go home again"?
When you go out, young lady, you'll be home by 10!
234. PALINDROME DELETION (8, 5)
My mood was SHORT. Now it's less dark.
In fact, I'm happy as a lark!
This pair of words was just flat LONG.
But now (thanks, Newrow!) it's not wrong.
There's sweet contentment on my face
No longer LONG, "LONG / SHORT"'s a base!
235. HOMONYM (3 5, 7)
You call this the "Giant Pasta Meal"?
A ONE TWO spirals? What's the deal?
236. PHONETIC FALSE OPPOSITE (8, *5) (KATZ, MICE)
In Hollywood you should be sure
To go on a soundstages tour.
The sound-effects people are nice
Quite KATZwhen discussing their MICE.
237. THIRD-SOUND CHANGE (*6, 4) (MING, MILL)
FIRST-LETTER CHANGE (4)
FIRST-SOUND CHANGE (8, 2 4) (SIRREE, MARIE)
The MING ^MILL was the only Chinese restaurant in town
Too bad the health department had to close that small MILL down:
Some folks who ate soft noodles got food poisoning; the TEA
Had grown-up nits. Yecch! TEA with PEA; SIRREE in the MARIE!
238. HETERONYM (2 2 3, 7) (JO T, JOT) (3 = NI3)
"If eleven yen's broken (like anyone cares)
Into three thousand five hundred one equal shares,
And I give you a share, roughly what have you got?"
"A headache!" "Too bad, JO T won't buy two JOT."
239. OVERLOADED BIPHONEME SHIFT ('8', *4 *4'1)
"I need help with my chemistry homework, please, Dad!"
"I'm writing the Saint-Matthew Passion now, lad."
"Just one question. This 'C-O-O-H'what's that called?"
"Now don't say you got help: say the answer is BALD."
240. ENIGMATIC SUBER [4 5]
Can't solve this quick? Take my advice:
Maybe you should try it TWICE.
241. FALSE BOTTOM (4, 9) (PLOT, NOT)
Review of a PLOT film: "The action starts hot,
Energetic, and sexy, but later on NOT."
242. PHONETIC FALSE COMPARATIVE (4, 6)
The folks for salamander ZPG
Respectfully request you BEER your BE.
243. HETERONYM (13; 7! *1, 5) (DOTAGE, DOT AGE)
She's 56, a divorcee.
Her DOTAGE years are lonely. "Hey,
DOT AGE a moment at my box.
Deliver me, this graying fox,
From solitude. Please make me glad
Bring some responses to my ad."
244. OVERLOADED FIRST-LETTER CHANGE (4)
The string ensemble's manager was more than slightly vexed:
"The theaters are all booked. I have no NET where you'll play next."
245. OVERLOADED DELETION (5)
Same-sex couples voice their strong and deeply felt reactions
When states pass laws approving of gay-marriage FRACTIONS/FACTIONS.
246. HETERONYM (9, 6 3) (DATERS, DA TERS)
LETTER BANK (9, *6 *7) (9s are the same)
While same-sex-marriage advocates campaign across the land
To try to get state DA TERS to their message: "What you've banned
Should, by all rights, be recognized by law," you'll need two sexes
To seal a DATERS legally for now in RED STATE, Texas.
247. ENIGMATIC REBUS (5)
"Know self," said Socrates:
A saying SELFISH as you please.
248. PHONETIC PALINDROME DELETION (6 4, 5)
Is a bargain SUCCESS: just one buck.
But if you hope to glom
On to "money.com,"
Be prepared to fork over some SUCK.
249. FALSE COMPARATIVE (4, 6) (BETTER = + usage)
Ridge's department, created by Bush with the mission of making Americans BET-
TER, makes many feel GOOD when it strong-arms an innocent citizen who it decides is a threat.
250. FIRST-SOUND CHANGE GROUP (4, 5, *3)
What if he who penned "Lenore"
Had bulked up, emulating Thor?
Well (nyuk! nyuk!), it seems to me
He would have been a ONE TWO THREE.
251. ENIGMATIC REBUS [6 6]
IM OK son
"Won't you try the meat buffet, son?"
"No. I stand for IM OK SON."
252. TRANSPOSAL (8, *8) (IRED, DREI)
Following a "Trout" Quintet
Performance, Sergei, all upset,
Gave up the pianoand here's why:
A critic wrote, "Sergei IRED DREI."
253. SPOONERGRAM (*6 *3 *3, 6 2 *7'1) (PAM SHANE, CHAMPAGNE) (6 = inferable + usage; *7'1 = not MW)
The PAM SHANE raised some spirits; their faithful downed some beers,
A place in history theirs after 86 long years!
A place right out of history cheered, too (not just The Hub):
Old Fred and Barney got CHAMPAGNE historic Stone Street Pub.
254. REVERSED FOURTH-SOUND CHANGE (7, 8)
"Welcome to the bank! Just a deposit, Mrs. Hayes?
And how's the waitress business at the burger joint these days?"
"Just fine. . . . You knew I worked there? Must have seen me there, I guess."
"NoI just saw the globs of CERO all over your DRESS."
255. OVERLOADED FOURTH-SOUND CHANGE (5, 7)
"Watch me juggle five Ming vases!"
"Don't you dare throw up such BASEs!"
256. HOMONYM (*3 *6, 2? 1 7) (DILL EERIE UM, DELIRIUM)
For a very strange film of the Exodus,
The roles were all cast against sex: a dis-
comfited Heston growled, "Miriam?!";
DILL EERIE UM cried out, "DELIRIUM?"
257. ENIGMATIC REBUS (4 5 4) (rubric contains non-MW material; reading contains Nov. '04 and Jan. '05 Enigma-findable material)
Avian-trauma vets having compassion and FETTERS
Lovers strong pleas for assistance in all of their letters.
258. INTERLOCK (*5, *1*1, 3) (not MW)
Topol was a master in his most beloved role.
You ought to rent the video, then, on your ONE, TWO WHOLE.
259. HETERONYM (4 3, [5 2]) (LIST EN, LISTEN)
LIST ENs resolve to LISTEN from their naps,
They nuzzle, lick, and blitz with yips and yaps.
260. PHONETIC FALSE POSSESSIVE (3, 5)
Most people are sleeping, it's true.
But I can't. What else is there to do
But write flats in the ONE little TWO?
261. REVERSED PHRASE SHIFT (*5'1 4) (*5 = part of 11C phrase)
When Mao Tse-tung's forces moved into Tibet,
Tough Buddhist resistance was what they would get:
Like apples and oranges those peoples compared.
The Red ones won out, though, reseizing the LAIRD.
262. REBUS [5 7]
If you have some ordered pairs,
Statisticians claim that these's
One straight line that fits them best:
Use the method of WE GUESSED.
263. ENIGMATIC REBUS [1-*4] (HOGS)
that girl that girl that girl that girl
Marlo Thomas Donahue was born in Deerfield, Mich.
(A little town) but raised in Hollywood. Did Marlo wish
She could have stayed in Michigan and been a rural kid
And hung with HOGS and boys in FFA? You think she did?
264. REVERSED PHONETIC CONSONANTCY (4, 10)
The TEN's a yummy Tex-Mex favorite:
Cheese in a tortilla. Savor it!
Rounda FOURif you'd unfold it,
It's closed up so you can hold it.
265. HETERONYM ([3-3], *2 4) (HEREAT = 3-3 = NI3; *2 = not MW usage)
When Li'l Miss Peep
Lost all her sheep,
She had no wool for heat.
So I put down my fiddle:
My HEREAT round her middle
Would help to make HER EAT.
266. FREEWHEELING PHONETIC FALSE PLURAL (6 1 5, *10)
"My instrument," said Pau Casals,
"Does not project in larger halls.
I'll sell it. From the proceeds, part
Will go for some Italian art;
The rest I'll use to get a new
Guarneri." Pau ONE and a TWO.
267. REVERSED CURTAILMENT (*6) (NEW = *)
An airline took a new route on:
Niamey from Saskatchewan.
It soon would take that service out:
No takers for a WENT-NEW route.
268. OVERLOADED PHONETIC FIRST-TO-FIFTH CHANGEOVER (9, 8)
B, then C, C-sharp, and D
Such a LOVELY melody,
Full of passion, void of gloom,
Starts Benny's theme song, "Love in Bloom."
269. FALSE DIMINUTIVE (3, *6)
Amid "To be or not to be,"
Chew the nearest scenery.
Put down Yorick's skull and pause
To milk the crowd for more applause.
When it's time to stab the curtain,
Hog the spotlight. And, for certain,
Die into the second row.
You've played PROBIT like a PRO.
270. TRANSPOGRAM (*6, *6) (neither MW)
SONJA was American, and JASON, Nepalese:
An actress and a Sherpa guideas different as you please.
And yet a common bond connected these intrepid souls:
Each stood upon the pinnacle, the first to reach their goals.
SONJA shared her moment (Mr. Jannings got there, too),
But still she was in Seventh Heaven. JASON, too, it's true,
Had company (Sir Hillary)and both were filled with mirth:
They got as close to heaven as a soul can get on earth!
271. THIRD-LETTER CHANGE (7)
The creature that lives in Loch Ness
Is MORE than most MOLEs, I would guess.
272. OVERLOADED REVERSED PHONETIC CONSONANTCY (4, 6) (4 = NI3)
A Jewish mama making stew ran short on brisket meat.
She spied her boychick's pet (akin to polecats). "Eh? They'll eat.
Who'll know?" she shrugged. She cut it up and put it in the pot.
But Papa took one bite: "This isn't kosher! This is NOT!"
273. HOMONYM (2 4, *5) (SECT'S POT = *5 = not MW)
Mattel's gone realistic.
The Barbie I just got
Gets cramps, fatigue, and bloating.
Then SEXPOT takes SECT'S POT.
274. PHRASE SHIFT (*4), 7) (COSBY SHOW) (*4 = not MW)
SPOONERGRAM (*4), 7; *3 ^8) (COSBY SHOW; SHAW'S KEY BEAU) (*3 = 11C-findable usage)
M.-Jamal Warner has gone off to college. He
Quit TV acting to study ethology.
Research by Malcolm (who played COSBY SHOW
Big cats' cognition to cat video
They watch, has been published. Called "What's SHAW'S KEY BEAU?,"
It shows a CAT scan from each cat of one species
On viewing a visual cueafter he/she's
Seen film (animateda big Disney feature)
Displaying cartoons of his/her kindred creature.
275. LETTER BANK (6, 11) (SNEEZE = NI3) (can be sung briefly before it fizzles)
Be kind to your cold-blooded friends,
For a SNEEZE may be somebody's ZENS.
276. PHONETIC DOUBLE-CROSS (*7, 3, 5, 6) (THOREAU = *7 = 11C-findable)
We're oh so wonderfully alike, as married couples go:
My wife's like Pollyanna; I'm like Pangloss in THOREAU.
We share a MIEN that says that everything is good and right.
So if we fall into a THORN and plummet out of sight,
The bills to fix our shattered skulls and vertebrae will bring
Much-needed funds: MILHAUD, the hospital can add a wing!
277. PHRASE SHIFT (3 *8)
A beautiful maiden of Troy
Trothed Troilus, a nice Trojan boy.
Diomedes thought: "Why should that matter?"
He took her away and he had her.
The maiden was terribly miffed:
"Greek Boy" didn't even PHRASE SHIFT!
(That's Shakespeare's dramatic play's plot;
A G & S opera it's not!)
278. TRANSADDITION GROUP (9, *7, 8) (can be sung, or rather declaimed over a musical background)
The devil went down to Deutschland. He was lookin' for a soul to steal.
So along the Ruhr he set his lure, with Cerberus on his heel.
He saw in TWO a fellow who was playing with his ONE:
"Go fetch it, boy!" Old Scratch gasped, "Oy!" That sleek, smooth ONE could run!
"I'll tell you what: that dog is fast. But Cerberus is, too,"
The devil said as he stroked one head. "I'll make a deal with you:
If your dog's as quick to fetch a stick as mine, I'll pay you well:
A gold chew toy. But blow it, boy, and you'll come with me to hell."
"My name is Franz, and all your taunts don't frighten me a bit.
Right now, doggone you! Bring it on! You first. Get on with it."
A howl arose from Cerberus. His paws were all aflame.
The devil cast a stick, and fast as lightning Cerberus came
Returning to his master with the quarry in his mouth.
"Well, little tyke, I hope you'll like the weather way down 'south,'"
The devil sneered at Franz. . . . "Well, Cerberus is pretty good.
But step aside. My dog's got pride. Give me that chunk of wood."
Franz flung that stick into the sky.
Before the devil blinked an eye,
That stick was back at Franz's feet.
The devil knew his dog was beat.
Old Nick produced the chew toy. "Son, you won. I shall concede.
But I'll be back!" "Whatever, Mac. I've got the fastest breed.
Yes, racing is an element that ONEs have in their hearts.
My ONE, you see, taught your dog THREE, though yours had three head starts!"
279. BIGRAM BEHEADMENT (3 3) (+)
Get your uric acid checked, old chap,
Or you could IT'S A TRAP from the SATRAP.
280. ENIGMATIC REBUS (5 3 4 3)
feline champion at that time
Prettty Kitty's up in years. She's getting kind of slow.
A rodent raced across the floor, and she just let it go.
She used to pride herself on getting every single one,
But now she's quite contented with a nap. She says: "I'll SUN."
281. METATHESIS WE NEVER FINISHED READING (5) (one part = NI3 spelling) (can be sung, as far as it goes)
A blessing: it's a boy! (Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov) . . .
282. OVERLOADED HETERONYM (*7, 2 5) (*7 = not MW)
Doc Hotshot cut on a
She was alert.
"How can you operate
What does her chart say?" "It
Says: 'THAT MUST HURT.'"
283. ENIGMATIC REBUS [*6, *7] (rubric and reading contain non-MW material)
Many leading British minds
Were shaped in SUPERMARKET LINES.
284. HETERONYM (6, *1, *2; [5 4]) (*2 = not MW)
When old Miss Gulch first ONE,
A Christian woman, couldn't
Allow myself to run
Off at the mouth. But wouldn't
It one day be so rich
To think of only TWO
And give that wicked witch
A taste of her own brew?
285. REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (4, 2) (ONE)
MULTIPLE REPEATED-LETTER DELETION (7, 3) (A)
No double reeds allowed? And just who says
That there should TWO a B on ONEs and As?
286. ENIGMATIC REBUS (8) (reading contains NI3+ material)
like late Beethoven
Bangs and Ks
Are flattists' PRAISE.
287. BACKSWITCH (*5, 5) (GREY, ERGS)
Gouda is good,
But cheddar is better.
Wisconsinites make a cheese, GREY,
That looks like the latter.
You'll surely grow fatter
From eating a pound ERGS each day.
288. HOMONYM (6, 4) (COOP, COUPE)
One time I asked a pianist whom I knew,
"Would you play pieces written for a group?"
"No. Chamber music's not a thing I do.
I crave the limelight, so I play COOP COUPE."
289. REVERSED BIGRAM BEHEADMENT (4-4, *3 *3)
Palmetto State rivers are super for fly-fishing. You
Can put on hip boots and wade out till you're ONE in the TWO.
290. REVERSED SECOND-SOUND CHANGE (6, 5) (NEWT, TIN)
Can cause burns on human skin.
So don't spill hot NEWT in your lap
At least, not if you're TIN.
291. DELETION (7)
Kids these days
Won't take the rap.
When they don't make A's,
They blame CAP CHAP.
292. OVERLOADED REVERSED PHONETIC TERMINAL DELETION (6, 4) (shorter part = NI3)
Americans just say "hello."
The Irish might say "Top o'
The mornin'!" But in Mexico,
Jews start off with "JALAPA!"
293. WORD DELETION (3-6, 2, 7)
Real men who mean to rough you up will do
ALL guy stuff: boxing, wrestling, or kung fu.
I'd like to beat your brains out, too, but find
That puzzles workthe spawn IN my OUT mind.
294. THIRD-TO-LAST CHANGEOVER (5)
I was born with no hair.
Now, once FAIR, I am bare
Up on top. Guess I'm FARE.
295. LETTER BANK (7, 12)
Anne Boleyn was false to me?
Fie! Let's see how she HEW WHEE!
296. MYNOMOH (4 *2, [4 3]) (ZYGOTE, TOW GUYS) (*2 = not MW)
Each crossword tourney monetary prize
ZYGOTE a nice amount for her TOW GUYS.
297. WORD DELETION (4 5, 4, 5)
Even when I was a baby, there wasn't a moment of doubt
That I would be going to Harvarda destiny I could not OUT.
My parents saw to it my childhood was nothing but Crimson. To keep
Me focused, my IN sang the Harvard CABOODLE to lull me to sleep.
298. SECOND-SOUND CHANGE (7, 6) (CRACK, QUACK)
My muffler made an awful noise
Because it had a crack.
I took it to the Auto Boys.
Their CRACK goop made it QUACK.
299. PHONETIC PALINDROME (*1 4 6 5! 3)
My business? A marina down in Ecuador:
It's used by fruit transporters as a place to store
Their rafts and skiffs. The river plyers come and go.
If they ask, "Do you store vessels?" they are told "OH NO!"
300. OVERLOADED HOMONYM (8, 4 4) (8 = +)
I like to watch the dog shows on TV:
It's great to see those fine, outstanding mutts.
Now doggie fashion shows are not for me
Just pageants where the dogs are all PUTZ/PUTTS.
301. HOMONYM (6, 6 '2) (GAME, SAME)
Nolan Ryan has a stat
Well-known throughout ball GAME:
How many hitters came to bat,
Then sat 'cause Nolan SAME.
302. REPEATED PENTAGRAM DELETION (*9 *5, 4)
In fourteen hundred ninety-two,
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
Painter ONE perhaps drank sherry,
TWO, a product of the land
Of Christo's sponsor Ferdinand.
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