When I was a musician in the San Antonio Symphony, the orchestra personnel manager shared with the musicians a letter of complaint a patron had sent to management, regarding the appearance and apparel of some musicians on stage as well as the presence of musicians' personal items. Two of my carpool members and I composed this response. (It was posted on our bulletin board but not sent to the offended patron!)
Carpool Limerick (1991)
(with Terry Stolow and Debbie Torch)
There once was a letter from Peg
That stated we showed too much leg.
Only a bimbo
Would write legs akimbo.
Pleaseno more letters, we beg.
She urged us to wear pants Palazzo.
Erstwhile in style, theyre now not so.
Keep your wandering eyes
Off our thundering thighs
And your ears on our sounds. Werent you taught so?
The orchestra, meanwhile, rehearses
(Thinking music means more than strewn purses).
We make so little money,
Its not even funny.
Its Peg versus Art! Curses, curses!